ONE MINUTE MELEE SEASON VI: Parace L'sia X Segata Sanshiro
Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! In this 300 Second Epic (Yes, the big rule is shattered for this fight.), Parace puts Segata to the ultimate test of ultimate Fighting Game Boss against Saturn avenger! Which God will last quince as long as a regular ONE MINUTE MELEE?! And win no less?! Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE!!! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Parace L'sia.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Segata Sanshiro.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Beginning PREVIOUSLY... Gill: Let me be the blessing of all souls... (Screen fades to white...) NOW... BMHKain's room (BMHKain listens to Patrick Gill - Dragon Punch (Ryu's theme /SF Legacy)) BMHKain: (Pays tribute to Dio via Devil Horns) BMHKain was enjoying the epic tune until he finds that he was being watched by the people reading this fight... ! BMHKain: OH SHIT. (Turns music off.) BMHKain: Hey, I am BMHKain. Also known as the man with a million nicknames. I'm the Harbinger, nice to finally have a word with all of you. In my last fight, only a couple of people saw Gill totally murder Kain; and trust me, that actually would happen in reality; it's NOT preference. But in the epilogue of said fight, we have Parace L'sia watching TV only to see something we haven't since he sabotaged a videogame concert as a result of his imminent return. I will now make this fight happen via my bullshit typing capability. Oh, and I decided upon my own accord to break one rule. This fight will last 5 minutes, is opposed to one minute. This means it will be settled in 300 seconds. If Ahomeschoolingroudon, or anyone else doesn't allow this idea, so help me... With that said, IT'S GAME TIME! BMHKain then went to work on the project... As Parace was changing the channel, she saw the impossible... Commercial: SEGA SATURN, SHIRO! Parace L'sia: (Groans...) Commercial: SEGA SATURN, SHIRO! Parace then had an idea. Parace: How about I do a 4-digit number channel, eh? I do like a good porno on occasion... Hngh...~~ But as she got to that channel... Commercial: SEGA SATURN, SHIRO! (Cues Arcana Heart Series - Parace L'sia's Theme (Extended/Revised)) Parace then stood up, as she knew what happens next. Parace: Give it up, Old man. Even the audience knows what happens next... (Fight/Music Paused) BMHKain: In case anyone cares... I put that in there myself, and YES, I'M FRIGGEN PLAGIRISING Chuck Norris vs Segata Sanshiro; So what if I have no original Ideas? I'll return to typing. (Fight/Music Resumes) Segata Sanshiro then came out of the TV, doing a fighting pose. Parace simply laughed. Parace: Ha! Someone in a friggen Gi? I got the perfect arena... Both fighters warped into the Arcana Realm where the two met face to face. As Segata wondered how an innocent young woman like Parace L'sia; until her bracelet disappeared as she became her true form... She then created 4 giant Gems that circled around her... Parace L'sia: I'll just need five minutes of your time, old man... Segata Sanshiro: Grrr... The Fight HERE COMES THE CLIMAX... FIGHT! 299.9-288.4: Segata attempted to punch Parace, but each of his attacks ended in failure; even as Segata tried to wait another teleport to try and hit her, Parace was far beyond intelligent, as she teleported far enough for Segata to miss by accident. Parace then sent her gems to deal damage to Segata. She then spun her gems, sending Segata flying upward, getting damaged further in the process... Segata then did a lightning fast Divekick that hit Parace right where she just teleported. Talk about lucky! (Fight/Music Paused at 289.2) BMHKain: Now, there's something I need to tell you all about the game DIVEKICK... IT FRIGGEN MAKES SHIT LIKE FUKUA AND ROBO-FORTUNE LOOK LIKE SILVER MAN!! (Fight/Music resumed at 289.1) 288.9-277.6: Parace easily teleported out of the way of Segata's kick. As Segata multiplied himself to infinity, he fell for Parace's trap... Parace simply crushed the clones with her gems, which made giant stone arms that turned most of the clones into pools of blood. As Segata was still multiplying to infinity, it showed the attack didn't work. Worse, All the clones were ginormous. But as one of them was forced to the ground, just as the clone was about to kill her, the dimensions of reality shattered. They were no longer in the Arcana Realm. They were in a completely different verse... (Arcana Heart Series - Parace L'sia's Theme (Extended/Revised) Ends.) (Fight Paused at 278.1) BMHKain: As a hint for one of the many verses you'll see later: It is a verse which everyone opposes me for defeating their characters, at least with Madoka Magica. What about Oriko? Kazumi? Come on guys, you know I don't have anything against these poor lasses. Anyways, try to learn something about MAGIC: the Gathering... Enjoy. (Fight rewound 10 seconds earlier) (Cues うたてめぐり - OST: 蠱業) ZENDIKAR Year: ~4609 in verse years... As Ulamog and Kozilek were outnumbering (And outgunning.) Kiora, Jace, and the other present planeswalkers and their abilities, such a battle in a Hedron Graveyard seemed hopeless... Jace: There has to be a way to seal those "Gods" in... But how? But as the heroes were about to lose... 277.2-268.9: As Segata Sanshiro crushed Kozilek's only eye, his foot dug even deeper, eventually killing the Cthulu Mythos inspired beast. The Planeswalkers were in shock and awe, only to get crushed to death as Parace L'sia threw Ulamog at them so hard, it killed it too, ultimately resuming the fight... 267.4-251.3: The two resumed their fight as Segata grabbed a scrapped Hedron just as Parace manipulated the air around her, levitating Segata, as he got closer and closer, as he threw the Hedron at Parace, she simply took the hit, like there's no problem at all. Segata then punched Parace in the face, and yet, his fist was cracked as if Parace was a body of Byzantium, 20x stronger than diamond. While her face was bruised, Parace was constantly healing no matter what Segata did, but he was a master of the impossible! He should be able to take her out easy! But why is Parace forcing him to hold back? Parace then used the same move she used on Segata's clones, but... Segata: UUUUUUUR!!! As it turns out, Segata was lifting one of the rock fists up with more success than Parace thought... He then broke the arm off and spun like crazy, forcing Parace to get hit nearly thousands of times each. But before the final blow was struck, reality was shattered yet again, and they were in another verse... (うたてめぐり - OST: 蠱業 Ends.) (Fight Paused at 252.6) PLANET CRAY: April 26th, 2032 A.D. in Earth Years, 00:00. As a Lunar Eclipse was occurring for the first time in years, the entire planet couldn't wait- (Fight Resumed at 251.4) (Cues Immediate Music - Lacrimosa Dominae starting from 0:26.) 251.3-237.6: That is, until two godlike entities were fighting in the sky itself. Almost all the clans (With the exception of the Bermuda Triangle; who are too damn nice to care) were angered by an interrupted once in a lifetime event. Parace tried using one of her Critical Hearts to heal herself quicker, but Segata easily broke the shield open in one attack. He then grabbed Parace, and threw her out of the planet. Segata then followed as he jumped out of the planet Then Izumi, Diva of Clear Waters came up to the surface, amazed at such combat. 236.4-235.2: Izumi: Sugoi... (Awesome.) BEYOND OUR HYPERVERSE: Location, the crystals orbiting CRAY... 229.5-215.3: As Parace was Spazzing her Teleportation, Segata simply wondered where the Arcana Maiden God was, until water poured all around him... As a result, he was frozen in an ice prison with Parace holding the pressure with nothing but her bare hands with some unknown magic... Then, shattered the ice mass with Segata in it. Segata then somehow found Parace, and grabbed her, flipped over and over, as they landed, eventually into a Red Giant, exploding it as they head for a meteorite... (Immediate Music - Lacrimosa Dominae ends.) 213.8-195.2: As they annihilated Asteroid by Asteroid, Parace & Segata then entered another portal, this time... To fight a witch... (Fight/Music Paused at 197.5) BMHKain: Remember what I said about Puella Magi? It's now happening. You've been warned. (Fight Resumed at 197.1) Walpurgisnacht. Time: Irrelivant in the World of Witches. (Cues Immediate Music - Protectors of Truth (NU EPIQ)) 196.5-187.3: In a giant room where 5 young girls were staring at the face of what seemed to be a planet sized, poorly drawn, abstract Witch called Walpurgisnacht. As the five got their weapons ready, water poured from above the Witch, and it was frozen in a giant ice mass with Parace L'sia holding the monster in its place. As four of the five Puella Magi watched the elf God thing handle a planetoid thing with ease, Kyoko Sakura simply munched on a Pocky Stick. 188.6-184.8: Kyoko: *Munch* This is freakin stupid; we were about to kick some serious Witch Ass, and she comes in to ruin all our fun. Goddamn... 183.6-171.4: But things just got worse, as after Parace shattered the Ice Cage, Walpurgisnacht shattered with it; enraging Kyoko as a result of such ludiocracy... 170.6-157.2: But as Kyoko was about to use her spear, Parace teleported it, and impaled her with her own weapon. Mami had an idea though... She summoned thousands of guns, but they all backfired as all shots missed both Parace, and Segata. The latter even increased size to even bigger than the witch realm... (Fight/Music paused at 157.3) BMHKain: Um... All five Puella Magi died at once. They, uh, definitely deserved what they got after some of my fights. Though there is one other hidden from plain sight. She comes from a spinoff of what everyone calls Puella Magi Madoka Magika. Apparently, neither Kazumi, or even Oriko exists to them. As punishment to those who believe such, watch a marathon or two of (impractical) JOKERS. Such stupidity should set you straight... Now back to the fight. (Fight/Music resumed at 157.3) 157.2-138.4: As a planet sized Segata Sanshiro was accumulating damage with his punches, but out of the blue, Parace L'sia blocked Segata's last punch with her finger. She then used her four elemental gems to shred at Segata, dealing immense damage. Ultimately, he tried to stomp Parace L'sia, with no success; she held the foot like Atlas would with Earth. 137.8-131.3: Parace L'sia: Size doesn't mean strength, old man. 130.9-124.6: But as Segata tried to force his foot on Parace, they got warped to another world, this time, they didn't need to penetrate the Great Hakurei Barrier to get there. And yet, out of the blue, one remaining Puella Magi showed her face after Walpurgisnacht, and the other Puella Magi were killed. Her name is Nagisa Momoe, and she had no intent on killing... (Immediate Music - Protectors of Truth (NU EPIQ) Ends.) 124.5-118.6: Nagisa: Whoa... That was heavy. 118.5-110.7: Nagisa then pulled out her trumpet, and played Amazing Grace, all while becoming her witch form, Charlotte after the Law of Cycles was lifted due to Madoka, and the others' demise. 110.3-105.1: Charlotte: EH HEHEHEH! Those girls never saw anything coming...! Youkai Mountain, Gensokyo. Time: 16:37. (Cues TD Miko's Theme: Shoutoku Legend ~ True Administrator starting from 3:02.) 102.6-86.5: As Reimu, and co. were shooting at an army of Fae, it turned out Segata was stomping from the sky, causing a shockwave that leveled the entirety of Gensokyo; but Parace wasn't far behind, she somehow was able to cocoon herself in golden crystal, healing herself as a result. Marisa, of the team used her Master Spark to break through the shield, and still had enough juice to blast Parace to oblivion... 86.4-58.7: And yet, Parace still survived as her healing properties was still keeping her alive. Segata knew this charade has to stop; so he pulled off his best Star Platinum impression, and beat the crap out of Parace, and finally, dizzying her. Segata then attempted to crush her head... 58.3-0.1: When out of the blue, a legendary White Dragon appeared out of nowhere, stopping the fight. Out of everyone, only Sanae Kochiya knew what it is... 56.7-52.3: ???: (Howls like a monster) 53.8-48.2: Sanae: White... Fatalis... 47.8-41.7: Reimu: Sanae-chan. You know that... Thing? 40.3-31.6: Sanae: Before I arrived, I at least knew about the Lore of Monster Hunter; What we're fearing is the most powerful monster in existence! 31.1-28.2: Marisa: Well enough bullshit! I'm g- 28.1-20.3: No! You know the law, Marisa! Dragons are impervious to our magic! Even our Faith's don't work! 19.8-0.1: Marisa though, wanted to test Sanae's theory with a Master Spark. It didn't work. Reimu, Marisa, Youmu, Sanae, and even Reisen all were slaughtered by White Fatalis' destructive breath, which also destroyed the Hakurei Shrine. Worse, White Fatalis' breath was so powerful, it destroyed the Great Hakurei Barrier, exposing Gensokyo to a bunch of mountains that are part of the Outside World, otherwise known as Earth. Neither Parace L'sia, nor Segata Sanshiro did any damage to the beast, even as time ran out... (TD Miko's Theme: Shoutoku Legend ~ True Administrator ends.) TIME OVER. And yet, they had the exact health portions, so, it was judgment time... JUDGMENT The Three Fairies of Light were holding signs to decide who would win, since neither Parace, nor Segata took each other out... Luna Child was first. Luna Child: My vote goes to... (Sign is turned to reveal her choice.) Luna Child: Segata Sanshiro! This guy is a complete badass God that puts Kanako-sama to shame! Star Sapphire was next... Star Sapphire: My vote goes to... (Sign is turned to reveal her choice.) Star Sapphire: Parace L'sia! She is the equivalent of a God of arcane magic, and held her own against someone who could kill her in one attack! The Deciding Vote went to the leader, Sunny Milk. Sunny Milk: It was tough... But I vote for... But before the vote was revealed, all three Fae were oneshotted by White Fatalis, and even both Parace, and Segata were killed by the same attack. M-M-M-MONSTER KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!!! It was all up to those who participated in the Last Day of the Seija Kijin Hunt... (Cues Shadow of the Colossus OST - Demise of the Ritual (Extended)) Consisting of Byakuren Hijiri, Toyosatomimi no Miko, Tenshi Hinanawi, Remillia Scarlett, and their leader; Yukari Yakumo, they were Gensokyo's last line of defense. If they die, nothing can stop White Fatalis. Yukari: Okay, ladies. We have an emergency situation, and it's up to us to slay the beast. If we don't coordinate our attacks properly, not only will Gensokyo meet its last day, but we, and its people will join it! Do you hear me?! Everyone: YEAH! White Fatalis saw the brigade, and attacked Hinanawi first. But as its Red Lightning Breath was about to oneshot her, Yukari created a portal between her, and Hinanawi, negating the attack. Hinanawi: So I guess we're even? Yukari simply nodded. Remillia was next. Remillia: EAT MY SPEARS! As the spears hit White Fatalis, it did nothing. Yukari finally remembered... Yukari: (That's right... Dragons are immune to all magic. Even our belief system of Gensokyo doesn't work...) That was when White Fatalis Roared so loud, everyone but Toyosatomimi no Miko was affected. Toyosatomimi no Miko: Oh, come on guys! Pull yourselves together! Fatalis then swooped at the 5 "God" team, about to kill them too. Toyosatomimi no Miko: Oh crap. THIS IS IT!!! Moments before all five were oneshoted, another Roar was heard, this time from a long, green Dragon who made its presence known with its roar: ???: Kiryuyaruaru!!! Yukari got up... Yukari: Now what...? Another mighty Bestial abomination?! As White Fatalis was fighting the green Dragon, it used Delta Stream, and MEGA Evolved. The green Dragon turned out to be a Rayquaza... Toyosatomimi no Miko: Has God betrayed our faiths? Byakuren: If Myouren were still alive, he would be...! Hinanawi: SU...GOI, NE!!! Remillia: Magnificent! A battle of powerful dragons? Yukari: So this is what it is meant to be... A battle of the sky... (Shadow of the Colossus OST - Demise of the Ritual (Extended) ends.) Results/Credits LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE... A TIE! Parace L'sia is from ARCANA HEART, owned by arc system works. Segata Sanshiro is owned by SEGA. Parace L'sia's Theme is from ARCANA HEART 3, owned by arc system works. 蠱業 is from Utatemeguri, owned by FLAT. Lacrimosa Dominae is performed by Immediate Music. Protectors of Truth (NU EPIQ) is performed by Immediate Music. Shoutoku Legend ~ True Administrator is from Unidentified Fantastic Object, owned by Jun'ya Ota (ZUN). Demise of the Ritual Is from SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS, owned by SCE Japan Studio/TEAM ICO. The ultimate dragon fight begins in the end of SEASON VIII... Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:"God vs God" themed One Minute Melees Category:Human vs Non-Human Fights Category:Fights that last over a minute Category:East only themed One Minute Melees Category:'Video Games' themed One Minute Melees